m/m Deano's Winter: A Muscle University Story

[Mdlftr]

On 3/18/2021 at 8:35 AM, muscleaddict said:

Thanks for this brilliant and thoughtful feedback @Mdlftr! I won't say anything about Harry at the moment but what would a Deano story be without him rolling his tongue around the inside of his cheek? 

Muscleaddict,

What REALLY captures my attention about your stories is your ability to capture the internal monologues of Deano and others, as well as your ability to reveal character in seemingly innocuous words and actions.  For example, we don't have access to the interior lives of Deano Sr. or Deano's Mom, but we have a very good idea of their personalities and what they know about their sons from the way they are described, what they say or DON'T say, and their actions.

 

You have an ability to show amazing insight into the inner lives of children and parents!  I don't know whether you are speaking from only the former child's perspective or from both (being a parent AND a former child) but you articulate it well!  Kind of like the way the U.S. Cartoon "Zits" perfectly captures American high school boys and their interactions with their parents, ages 15-18:  https://www.comicskingdom.com/zits 

Just really EXCELLENT writing!  Also, the underlying droll humor ["Oi!"] makes me smile, even when the British-isms go over my head!  

Mdlftr

[muscleaddict]

20 hours ago, Mdlftr said:

Muscleaddict,

What REALLY captures my attention about your stories is your ability to capture the internal monologues of Deano and others, as well as your ability to reveal character in seemingly innocuous words and actions.  For example, we don't have access to the interior lives of Deano Sr. or Deano's Mom, but we have a very good idea of their personalities and what they know about their sons from the way they are described, what they say or DON'T say, and their actions.

 

You have an ability to show amazing insight into the inner lives of children and parents!  I don't know whether you are speaking from only the former child's perspective or from both (being a parent AND a former child) but you articulate it well!  Kind of like the way the U.S. Cartoon "Zits" perfectly captures American high school boys and their interactions with their parents, ages 15-18:  https://www.comicskingdom.com/zits 

Just really EXCELLENT writing!  Also, the underlying droll humor ["Oi!"] makes me smile, even when the British-isms go over my head!  

Mdlftr

More amazing feedback! Thank you @Mdlftr! I have to say I love writing the family stuff and the interactions with Deano and his parents. Something I wasn't even sure people would be onboard with or even just interested in. 

[muscleaddict]

Seven

“Are you gonna have that bloody face on you all day?” my dad asks as I do my seat belt up.

“What?” I snap, annoyed.

He lets out a big sigh. “You look like you’re going to a fucking funeral!”

Ugh. Fuck. Off.

“I’m hungover.”

My dad groans. “You’re always bloody hungover.”

Josh leans forward from the back seat. “So the two times you’ve met Terry you’ve been hungover from going out the night before and getting wankered?”

“All right, Sherlock bloody Holmes!” my dad barks.

I fold my arms, lean my head back on the headrest and close my eyes. I’m so not in the mood for this today. I didn’t get any more texts from Harry the Bouncer last night. I know I’ve messed things up. That I’ve fucked up with the first guy who’s liked me since Ryan North. I just wanna go back to bed and wallow. Instead, I’m being forced to go to mums for this stupid buffet thing. I don’t even care that Terry’s gonna be there. I just can’t stop thinking about yesterday. Last night with Harry. And yesterday afternoon when I was sitting in this very car, watching Ryan North talking to my dad and Josh and wanting to fall through the car seat. Why the fuck did I even agree to go out with Harry in the first place? I knew it wouldn’t end well. I knew something like this was going to happen.

Terry’s not at mum’s when we get there. It’s just mum, Gary and Chloe. Not that I really give a shit about my dad’s girlfriend right now. And yet, when the doorbell goes, I feel a sudden dread in the pit of my stomach. Which only intensifies when I hear her voice. And soon enough, she’s in my mum’s house. And oh God - she’s bought her bloody son, Archie, with her. Who looks a bit like a ginger Luke Henderson with black-framed glasses. Only more first-year Henderson before he packed on some decent muscle. He’s all smiley and cheery looking. I bet he’s one of those happy, bubbly types of teenagers who loves school and gets on really with his parents. Jesus. 

Terry says hello to pretty much everyone. Everyone apart from me that is. She’s not even making eye contact with me. Huh. I guess I kind of asked for that.

Something weird happens when Archie clocks me. His happy demeanour seems to slip and he suddenly looks awkward. And nervous.

“All right, Arch?” my dad says to Terry’s son. ‘Arch’?! What the fuck?

No one seems to be bothering to introduce us, which is fine with me. But then -

“Archie, mate - this is my youngest,” dad says, pointing at me. Archie makes eye contact. And there it is again. Nervousness. He even looks intimidated. He nods and says all right. Then he bites his lip and his eyes fall to my chest. And I have to fight back my smile. I look over at Josh who’s giving me a little smirk. Clearly, he’s noticed the effect my muscle seems to be having on Terry’s son and finds it just as amusing as I do.

“The inferior Deano!” my dad jokes. (The exact same fucking joke he made the first time I met Terry.)

Terry lets out a playful groan. “I think you need to find some new jokes, Deano.”

Josh lets out one of his high pitched laughs. I find myself trying not to smile at the joke. I don’t know if it’s because she’s not trying really hard to be friendly to me this time, but I’m not quite feeling the same disdain for Terry I did the first few times I met her.

Terry goes over to talk to my mum, leaving Archie behind.

“Mum says you’re at uni?” Archie says to me, a hint of nerves in his voice and an awkward look on his face. Am I really that intimidating?

Everyone suddenly seems to be looking at me. Like they’re waiting to see if I’ll be rude and actually talk to this kid without being a total dick.

I bite my lip and fold my arms. “Mmmm. Second-year,” I say, feeling a little awkward. Archie’s eyes go down to my arms, now bulging under my tight fitted jumper as they’re folded across my chest. I glance over to Josh, who seems to be entertained by this awkward exchange.

Archie asks me which uni and I tell him Montgomery.

“Is that the sports uni?”

‘Sports uni’. Ha! I’ve literally never heard it called that before.

No, Archie. It’s the university for shredded muscle freaks. All we basically do is lift, eat and pose in front of each other. Usually all with our massive arses spilling out of our posing trunks. 

I unfold my arms and unintentionally puff out of my chest. “It’s the one for bodybuilders,” I tell him matter-of-factly.

Archie does a little nod and bites his lip, suddenly looking like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. Jesus - what the fuck does this lad think of my dad? I look over at Josh and we exchange smirks.

“The one for skint bloody parents more like!” my dad barks.

A little later on and I escape to the kitchen to get a drink. Today’s not quite as painful as I thought it was going to be. Terry hasn’t spoken to me. Which suits me. I mean, I feel like shit and part of me just wants to go home, sleep off my hangover and try not to obsess over what happened yesterday. But I think another part of me is kind of glad, maybe even a little bit grateful for the fact that my mum arranged this buffet thing today. Because what else would I be doing? Lying on my bed feeling like shit. Thinking about Ryan North. And the Instagram posts of his I saw last night. And how I fucked up with Harry the Bouncer. Maybe I’m just pre-positioned to always fuck things up.

I hear footsteps. Someone’s coming into the kitchen. Oh, God. I hope it’s not Terry. But then - weirdly, for a split second, I actually hope it IS Terry. Huh. Maybe I actually do care what Terry thinks of me.

I spin around to face the door, drink in my hand. It’s just mum.

“All right, Dean?”

I roll my tongue around the inside of my mouth and nod. Mum’s got that look on her face. Like she knows I’m not alright. Because of course she does.

“Come on then,” she says in a gentle voice. “How weird is it?” 

I give her a confused look.

Mum’s eyes widen. “Seeing your dad with a girlfriend,” she says, her lips curling into a kind, knowing smile.

I kind of love how my mum always seems to know what’s bugging me. I pull a face and shrug. “A bit!” I confess, suddenly feeling surprisingly lighter having done so.

My mum’s face suddenly tenses up a little. She looks over to the door, almost as if to check that no one’s coming. Then she looks back at me. I don’t fail to notice that she looks a little nervous.

“So I have some news,” she says.

My stomach tightens. Oh, God. What the fuck now?

“God, Dean - don’t look so nervous,” she says, relaxing me a little.

“We’ve booked a place. Me and Gary. For the wedding.”

I nod, feeling a bit confused. “Oh right.” 

She tells me it’s some fancy hotel on the seafront and that it's booked for a day next April. “So you'll be back for the Easter holidays.”

I nod, not really knowing what kind of reaction my mum’s expecting from me.

“I haven’t told your dad and your brother yet. I just … wanted to tell you first. Rather than, you know, make a big announcement,” she says, rolling her eyes, “like last time.”

And all of a sudden, I get it. Why my mum’s nervous to tell me she’s booked a date for her wedding. Because of what happened when she and Gary announced their engagement at Josh’s birthday barbecue last summer. Because of how I reacted. The awful, twattish thing I said to her which made her fucking cry.

“It’s weird for me too, you know,” mum says. I look at her confused.

 “Seeing your dad with someone else after all these years.”

Huh. I never really thought that it might be weird for my mum too.

I look at the kitchen door, then back to mum. “It’s just …” my stomach clenches, “what if she, like, moves in?”

“I don’t think your dad’s thinking THAT far ahead, Dean.” My mum looks like she’s trying to suppress a smirk. Like she found what I said funny. Maybe I am ridiculous for having these thoughts.

I look down, not looking at my mum’s face. “Or, what if he, like, moves in with her?”

I cautiously look up at my mum. The smirk has gone. I think she gets it.

“Oh, Dean,” she says, giving me this look. I suddenly feel like I might cry. And out of nowhere, comes this desire. To tell my mum everything. About Harry the Bouncer. About Ryan North PT. I suddenly want to tell her it all.

“Come on!” mum says, cocking her head towards the door.

I follow her into the noisy living room. The first person I see is Terry. She’s standing right there with a plate of food in her hand. We make eye contact.

“You all right, Deano?” she says, speaking to me for the first time today.

I nod, feeling slightly awkward. “Yeah. You?” I say. There’s not a hint of frostiness or hostility in my voice. We’re standing side by side looking out to the room. Josh is talking to Archie, looking like he weighs about twice his body weight and dwarfing the poor lad with his height. Dad’s talking to Gary. Mum’s now on the sofa next to Chloe looking at something on her iPad.

Terry leans into me. “Well, I think you made an impression on Archie!”

I look at her, surprised and confused. “He said to me, 'Mum! Deano’s son’s massive!'”

Ha! I can’t help smiling at that. And Terry’s smiling back at me. And then I suddenly spot my dad looking over at us. This pleased smirk on his face. Ugh, whatever, dad. Get the fuck over it. But, I guess, well … when I think about it, this Terry woman isn’t ALL bad. I suppose.

And now, as I look back to Josh and Archie, I’m smirking at something else. The thought of Archie’s face if me, Shaun, Eric Mafra and Ashley Mosaku were standing in a line in front of him in just our posing trunks cranking out pose after pose. Maybe I should invite Archie up to Montgomery for the end of term bodybuilding show in a few months?

When I wake up early the next morning, I’m thinking about the events of the other night. If only my dad hadn’t stopped at the gym on the way back from my aunts. That whole night with Harry would have played out completely differently. I would never have seen Ryan North. I wouldn’t have been thinking about him that night. I wouldn’t have looked at his Instagram profile for the first time in months. Would never have kissed the handsome guy with the neck tattoo in front of fucking Harry and gone off with him to the bar, leaving Harry standing there like an absolute twat. My stomach clenches tightly at that thought.

I would have gone home with Harry that night. I might even be with him now. Maybe it was too soon to be getting involved with a guy like Harry. Maybe I should never have agreed to meet him in the first place. Then none of this would have happened.

I pick up my phone and go to the messaging app. Harry’s last message is sitting there. “Have a good night.” Fuck. I scroll back and see all the keen and funny messages he’d sent before that. Everything had been going so well. I was having fun with him. I could feel myself starting to like him. And I fucked it all up.

I stare at the empty text box. My chest tightens as I type a text. “How are you?” But then I realise that’s fucking absurd. I can’t text him that after what I did. So I type something else. “I fucked it up”. I hesitate before sending, but I feel like I need to do this. I feel like I owe Harry something. So I hit send. And I feel like I’ve done a good thing.

But when I put my phone down on my bed, something else hits me. What if Harry the Bouncer doesn’t reply to my text? And as time goes on without a reply, leaving me feeling progressively worse and anxious, I realise that is EXACTLY what is happening. 

When my phone finally pings about an hour later, it’s ridiculous what it does to me. My heart jumps into my throat and I grab my phone. And then I feel a kick to the stomach when I see Tony’s name on my screen instead of Harrys. He’s asking me if I want to go drinking tonight, which is pretty much the LAST thing I want to do. I tell him no but that I’m still up for going out on New Year’s Eve.

I tell myself that Harry might just be busy. And that’s why he’s not replying to my text. And when the evening comes, I reason that he’s probably working the door at the pub.

But when it comes to Sunday night and the weekend's over and I still haven’t received a reply from Harry the Bouncer, it becomes abundantly clear that he’s not going to reply to my text message. I guess I really HAVE fucked it up.

[crushme99]

Ohhhhh, Deano.  You just about break our hearts.

BUT, what a nice way to begin a Saturday morning, a cup of coffee just a reach away, and more wonderful work to read from our unmet friend, muscleaddict.  Thanks, mate.

[muscleaddict]

53 minutes ago, crushme99 said:

Ohhhhh, Deano.  You just about break our hearts.

BUT, what a nice way to begin a Saturday morning, a cup of coffee just a reach away, and more wonderful work to read from our unmet friend, muscleaddict.  Thanks, mate.

Coffee? Not a couple of crumpets and a nice hot cuppa then? (Do you guys have crumpets? ) 

[DennisFLL]

All right, thanks Matey. (How's that MA?)  I'm feeling very British today and might have me some steak and kidney pie, though I'll ask them to hold the kidney pie.  Seriously, your writing continues to amaze me with your further development of Deano as this frustrated and insecure young man, but with a good heart lurking somewhere waiting to appear.  And I'm hoping for more of my younger self in Archie to show up again.  We're all waiting impatiently for your grand finale!

[Ozymandias]

Hey Archie

[muscleaddict]

22 minutes ago, DennisFLL said:

All right, thanks Matey. (How's that MA?)  I'm feeling very British today and might have me some steak and kidney pie, though I'll ask them to hold the kidney pie.  Seriously, your writing continues to amaze me with your further development of Deano as this frustrated and insecure young man, but with a good heart lurking somewhere waiting to appear.  And I'm hoping for more of my younger self in Archie to show up again.  We're all waiting impatiently for your grand finale!

Haha! Good job me ol' mucker. Steak and kidney pie? Nah - not a fan. I'd prefer a plate of bangers and mash with shit loads of gravy myself. Oh and I think that's one of the best descriptions of Deano I've read so far! 

[muscleaddict]

10 minutes ago, Ozymandias said:

Hey Archie

New spin-off revealing Archie as a secret muscle lover who fancies both his mum's new ex-bodybuilder boyfriend *and* his mini-me son coming soon?? 

[DennisFLL]

4 minutes ago, muscleaddict said:

New spin-off revealing Archie as a secret muscle lover who fancies both his mum's new ex-bodybuilder boyfriend *and* his mini-me son coming soon?? 

I'd actually love it!  Choosing between a muscle-daddy and a muscle stud.  Can it get any better?